I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
