i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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