Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize