dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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