everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
