He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize