i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
