why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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