Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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