she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
