i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
