if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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