Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
