He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
