i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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