I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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