Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
