I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
