Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to have your abortion
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
