how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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