On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
