you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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