i need an iv and a liver transplant
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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