at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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