ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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