Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need to align my fucking chakras
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