I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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