yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
