Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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