my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
