at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
