Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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