wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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