I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
