turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
