I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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