So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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