That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
