I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
