The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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