Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
there is glitter all over my balls
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