I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
