It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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