i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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