Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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