he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
