She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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