Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize