he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
