My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
