The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
