just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
