He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
