You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
