my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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