Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
