Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
