Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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