3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
