My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
