Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
