Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
